BEING THE FIRST FRIEND TO GET PREGNANT - MATERMEA FEATURE

I had the pleasure of being featured on MATER MEA - an informative platform for black mothers to tell their stories, build community, and share resources. The feature topic was advice I’d give to someone who is the first person of their friend group to get pregnant. I wanted to elaborate on this topic more and give more extensive advice. Heres five pointers :

  1. Don’t expect people who have never been pregnant before to understand what you need without verbalizing exactly that. People who have not experienced pregnancy do not know how scary or emotional this process is. Some people have experienced pregnancy but its been too long for them to remember the details.

  2. Take this time to establish a spiritual connection with your baby, pay attention to their personality traits when they’re moving in your belly. Are they up more in the middle of the night ? How do they react to certain foods you’re eating ? Are they active or chill ?

  3. NESTING ! - Busy yourself with creating an ideal space for your baby. Whether you have a room, an apartment or lots of room in a house MAKE IT COZY and personalize. You will be spending so much time here, not leaving much once your baby is born. So make sure you wake up everyday grateful for the interior around you.

  4. Focus on your partner or those who are there for you. The most random people became my support system when I was pregnant. My little cousin Kortne who is about 3 years younger than me ended up being the person who checked on me everyday. We became very close at this time. She has a three year old daughter, and she is still someone I can go to when I have questions.

  5. Understand that this is all temporary. Just as you are adjusting to being pregnant, people are adjusting to how your relationship with them may change. Now, you can’t go out and drink or be as available as you used to. Also, if you’re the first to get pregnant in your friend group, this may put a little pressure on your friends or make them feel a little behind if they are nowhere near this stage in their lives. Allow that time for distance and if the relationship is strong enough it will prevail.

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