ALL ABOUT MY THERAPY EXPERIENCE

For the past month and a half, I’ve been going to therapy once a week. I am really open to share my thoughts on therapy, because I feel like everyone could benefit from it. I realized that I needed to go to therapy when my emotions and mental chatter began to effect me and my families life. For the first time in my life, at 28, I was experiencing true trauma and just plain sadness. If I had to describe this feeling I would say it hurts when you breathe. When you inhale and exhale you literally feel pain in your heart. Sometimes its faint and sometimes its strong, but either way its present. After a while, it starts to feel like prison, but inside of yourself. This is really dark, but its real. Usually I can manage my own emotions over a couple months with working out and writing but this time it was beyond my control. I also have really trustworthy friends who get me through hard times, but its not fair to always suck your friends into your trauma. Everyone has their own issues to deal with.

It takes maturity to admit that you need to seek professional help. I knew I needed a listening ear, and an unbiased opinion. It wasn’t hard for me to find a therapist once I started looking. Like most things in my life, I take what comes to me and view it as a plan of action from the universe. The only requirement I had was that she was a black woman. In less than two months, this person has helped me comb out all the kinks and get to the root of my issues. She held me accountable, while also saving space for me to be vulnerable. She gave me some perspectives that I never would have considered.

When I went to my first therapy session, it was a full circle moment before I even stepped in. The same building I took my teacher certification exam, was the same building my therapists office was in. Two MAJOR and scary moments in my life located in the same building. The first session was all about my therapist getting to know me. I told her about my concerns and what I was dealing with, I also told her about the good things in my life as well. The whole first session was just me getting into surface emotions and background of who I am and my belief system. It was really interesting for someone like me who considers themselves a healer to need healing but there I was - on her couch.

I took my therapy sessions really seriously and dressed business casual for the most part. I felt like, if I’m coming to you with my life in shambles, the least I could do is look cute. When going to therapy you have to keep in mind that, your issues are not ALL that you're made up of. Those sessions were really the only time during the week I put REAL clothes on and felt presentable and beautiful. At the end of the day, you dress a certain way to handle your work business, you dress a certain way for your social business. So how do you want to look when doing self business ? Maybe this is my weird way of trying to tie fashion into therapy, but this worked for me. The photos up top are elevator selfies from my first four therapy sessions.

I’m now at a place where I feel like I can chop my sessions down to twice a month, instead of every week. I feel like myself again and I am really grateful. I actually feel better than I’ve felt in a long time. Once you face your truth, there comes a sense of freedom with that. As humans, we go years and years without verbalizing how we feel about certain things. We just leave the thoughts there to float in our minds, and that just isn’t healthy. There is a comfort that comes with being heard and understood. The best way to take care of yourself is acknowledging when something is wrong. The one hour sessions of me speaking to her over coffee really have changed my life. This is very similar to when the engine light comes on in your car but you keep driving and driving. Eventually, your car will force you to get these repairs during a really inconvenient time. This is how health works, mental and physical. I urge you to tend to whatever lights are on.

Are you considering going to therapy ? What questions do you have ?