MOTHERHOOD IS SISTERHOOD

This past Sunday, Phoenix and I spent time with my good friend Ayaba, and her daughter Zula. We did ordinary things mamas do on Sundays - but just together. At this time, things are opening back up and then closing again because of COVID 19. We have been planning to get together for months- and decided this weekend we would just commit no matter what. Lately, I’ve been feeling some confusion about what my long term responsibilities are in my community. I have been feeling the desperate need to help - beyond donations and posting daily about black injustice. After this weekend, I realized my way of life is enough. Being a black mother and raising a well rounded and loving black son really is enough. Uplifting another black woman is enough. I am blessed to receive guidance from my experiences and bonds with other humans - specifically mothers.

Each time I spend a day with Ayaba, I gain clarity and confidence in my ideas and manifestations. We began our day with a picnic at a nearby park. This Sunday was quite overcast, and we even got rained on towards the end of our picnic. It was lovely. The kids were high energy and got along really well as always. Phoenix loves to be around other children, so I was happy he got the chance to socialize. Social distancing has been really hard on him. Phoenix and Zula laughed together in the backseat as we stopped at various places. At one point the kids both fell asleep and I stayed in the car while Ayaba went into a thrift store to browse. I encouraged her to take her time and really shop. We drove around the city with no real plan - just conversing and vibing over topics better discussed in person.

Watching her and Zula throughout the day was a direct mirror for me. Seeing another mother strapping in a carseat. Seeing a mother having to constantly put her needs second. Seeing a mother respond gently to a frustrated and sleepy toddler made me realize that I am not alone. All of the same struggles I have - other moms have the exact same ones. It seems less hopeless when you have someone to struggle WITH. Some would look at this as trauma bonding (haha), but I look at it as support and sisterhood. Having someone there to laugh through the hard moments and encourage one another that we are doing the right thing.

I remember when we were both pregnant. We were both so excited to be mothers and share the experience together. We talked about what kind of future we wanted for our children. We talked about how we still wanted to be “cool” and stylish even when we were mothers. Continuing to be creatives and reach personal goals has always been important to us. We have kept each other on track and in touch with our inner selves over the last three years and for that I am proud. We expressed our gratitude for each other, and the love we’ve shared overall. Being a mother is so hard ! We congratulated each other on making it this far. We talked about how our children have turned us into professionals and made us more focused as women. Its really full circle for us because we have become BOSSES over this three year span.

After shooting some content of the kids and a little grocery shopping - we had a really nice dinner together. We had some roasted vegetables with salmon and red wine. We lit candles and played music and talked about love, relationships, financial experiences and future endeavors. Fellowship and sharing meals is one of my favorite things to do with close friends and family. Theres so much intention behind choosing a meal, preparing it and enjoying it together. This moment reminded us to take care of ourselves. The dinner served as a treat for how much work we put in with two toddlers, masks, and Texas heat.

Ayaba and I are in the process of organizing a way to truly give back to black mothers. We want to channel our ancestors and community in a way that prevents black women from feeling alone or lost. In traditional African culture, women see all children as their own. No mother gets left behind. We care for each other and we care for each others seeds. This day was a beautiful representation of that. This is a bond that all mothers deserve.