LIFE UPDATE & HOW "30" FEELS

I am a few days shy of being 30 for an entire month. To me 30 really is different. It feels like a new era for me to expand and stretch out in. So much shadow work is being done on a daily basis which is the most emotional exhaustion I’ve ever felt. 30 no longer allows me to ignore my feelings, it lunges me right into all of my realities. Days and weeks feel shorter, and I’ve come to realize how short life is in general. To me - the year is already moving fast and I know I need to act on my true desires. I’ve mostly turned inward and began to be selective about most things.

As much intention as I apply on a daily basis, I’ve also been learning to relax a little bit. Most of my twenties I was anxious and worried. Now I’m seeing the health advantages of acceptance and true relaxation. The more I do what’s best for me, the more relaxed I become. The more I vocalize what I will and won’t accept- the more relaxed I can truly be. Moving into my new apartment right before my birthday is really where most of my work has presented itself. I always say this but there is so much healing in moving. What I’ve enjoyed the most about moving is providing Phoenix with his own room. This is a big deal for me as a mother, because we only want what’s best for our children. Being able to give him that brings me an immense amount of joy.

Purchasing new furniture for the first time has been fun and expensive. I usually take furniture from my mother or buy a lot of second hand. This time around, I am making ADULT purchases with furniture I may have for a lifetime. I’ve been making investment decisions left and right in regards to my home and my life. In my early 20s I lived month to month. Late twenties felt like season to season. Now I am living year to year. I am already thinking about next year and what that looks like for my family and I. I understand the importance of security and good decision making NOW more than ever. See the chart below that really fascinated and inspired me to pick a side and stay there regarding my values by @innermade.

I experienced a major creative burnout closer to the last sell out of ‘Ode to 20s’. The project taught me so much about myself and life. I met and spoke with so many beautiful people about the content and revelations. I learned what it meant to be an entrepreneur and have responsibilities with shipping and packaging. A whole new mindset came with this experience. As I am finally coming around to having some creative spurts, I am learning to take it slow. While success feels confirming and righteous - I also know the importance of taking a break and returning when it feels right. Selling out of my zine three times showed me that I can do anything I put my mind to.

I have been splurging on myself all year, and not feeling guilty for it. This is something I had to learn how to do. I’ve always had guilt attached to self indulgence, but that has ALMOST diminished completely. I hate that I went so long feeling badly for giving myself things I deserved (and earned), but those days are long gone. For my birthday, I straightened my hair for the first time in ten years ! It was a nice experience and while I feel more attractive with my curly hair - I will continue to try new things and be a little more spontaneous with my tresses. At the moment, I am all about my skincare, and getting my body to an ideal space. My inner/outer appearance has become more of a priority than it has been in the past. It’s a fun and exciting place to be right now in vanity world.

I’ve been journaling a whole lot. I try to write a full page at least 5 days out of the week. Reading has also re-entered my life now that I have more of a calm routine. I am very much into self help books still. I’m getting back into my podcasts, and yoga. Surprisingly I’ve been drinking A TON of tea instead of my usual coffee. My favorite is earl grey with oatmilk and way too much honey. I recently reached my goal of slimming down a bit since quarantine season began. Eating clean and drinking plenty water has allowed me to reach my goal. I am still trying to curve my sugar intake - which has always been my biggest challenge health wise. There is no definition to my diet. Some days I eat vegan meals, other days I may have fish or meat. My main focus is to eat as clean as possible and steer clear from food with no benefit.

Investing in Phoenix has been fun, he’s taking swim classes once a week. I can’t wait until I can see some results. I intend to help him try everything to see what his interests are. Parenting has me really busy but keeps me on point. I find little pockets to read and introduce self care into our routine. Again - intention. The theme right now is to “hurry up and take my time”. To me this means to find balance in between work and play. Balance between moving pretty quickly and slowing down. There can always be happiness, as long as there is balance.

Relationships have also been in the front seat. I have been navigating and analyzing the relationships dearest to me. I think I have the prominent beings around me that will be here for a lifetime. This season is all about strengthening and nurturing the connections I’ve been blessed with. I am constantly assessing how I can better serve these relationships, and what I need from them. Nothing matters more to me than my loved ones. Creating memories, spending time and sharing resources and energy is everything right now. On the flip side, a challenging portion of this section is creating boundaries and maintaining them.

Although i’ve taken a big break from writing on LADYFOX, you can still find consistent work from me on alltheprettybirds. This is where all of my wellness and lifestyle pieces are. Thank you for welcoming me back and allowing me to be open in this space. Some things I am looking forward to, is warm weather. I am excited to travel a bit - without a massive fear of pandemic stress. Although this virus is still very real, I think we as a people have learned how to navigate it and have evolved past fear based living. I am looking forward to continuing to grow and choosing myself throughout the year.

What have you guys been up to ?