CREATIVE RUTS & AWAITING THE WAVE ~

For a while I lost my desire to create. The static from social media, the pandemic and moving through life had me stifled as an artist. The ideas weren’t flowing, and I was uninterested. There was no extra energy to express any form of art, or share it for that matter. I went through months of feeling like I needed to focus on my ‘real’ life, and what I wanted that to look like. So, I dug deeper into parenting, decorating my home and more intentional shadow work. I thought I was doing shadow work before, but the real work starts with solitude. Sitting with myself really showed me what I (as an individual) needed to work on.

Before, I’d spend too much time thinking about what I wanted/needed or would/wouldn’t tolerate from others. I was only doing a portion of the work. There was a hyperfocus on how OTHERS could better serve me. I needed to visit the ugly parts of myself and address my feelings around that. Blaming external factors for what was lacking in my life was a sad crutch. The truth is that growth is never ending and since growth hurts, there will be continuous pain at various levels. Lately, I’ve realized its okay to experience joy and pain simultaneously, you just have to put pain in the backseat. Allow your range of feelings to be felt intensely.

My desire to get back into projects has returned. I am focused on letting my creativity be what it is. This time around I don’t want to over edit anything. I don’t want my words or pictures to be drained of their authenticity. I want to be a more free creative. I’d like to get back to creating for myself, and just doing what feels good.

For Mothers Day, the boys took me to the museum. This visit really sparked my creativity and gave me that inspiring feeling again. Traveling and art return me to my creative self. This is why I am really looking forward to the summer, so i can dive all the way in. If you are a creative and are waiting for inspiration in these times of capitalism and community pain, be patient with yourself. I took about 6 months off. Release the guilt and the shame that comes along with taking your time.