Give Yourself Permission To *Pause*
Sometimes the lessons you need to learn cause you to PAUSE. The end of the summer has been a highly reflective moment that requires change. Intentional change. Im learning that when I’m shifting I need solitude, because I can be easily distracted. Socializing, and being open to assisting others distracts me the most. Major growth requires me to be conscious of what I do with every moment of free time.
Things that I’ve learned in the last two months:
What You Allow Will Continue: In the past I would sit through relationships, situations, and thought patterns that didn’t serve me in order to keep the peace, or to not seem like a “bitch”. This time of reflection has given me the permission to opt out of what is not aligned with my purpose and beliefs. I had to learn how to release guilt from not being as available and susceptible to extrinsic people and energies. I had to accept that as I change, so many other things will too and that’s okay.
Accept That There Are Only 24 Hours In A Day: As someone who thrives from task completion, it is hard to accept time and how little of it there is. There is so much that I need to do, and want to do - but it can’t always get done. I was placing my worth in my productivity levels, which is totally unfair. I live a demanding lifestyle, and allowing myself to rest or move today’s tasks to tomorrow is okay. Summer allowed me to accept rest and experience rejuvenation unattached to criminalizing myself.
Be Gentle With Yourself: This one is major. I’ve been pretty hard on myself most of my life. This summer I really learned to ease up. Now it is easy for me to take a day off when I need to. Putting my wellness and DESIRES first has allowed room for fulfillment. Taking it easy on myself also allows me to extend grace to others.
Looking Good Means Feeling Good: I can’t stress enough how important outer appearance is. Looking good to feel good is not shallow. Confidence, authenticity and consistency (to me) are the keys to life and getting the things you want. How you look is a manifestation to whom you want to become.
Details Matter: Intention has been a major theme in my life the last two years and it always remains. Details are what makes the mundane things so satisfying. Making sure I have all of my ingredients when I cook allows me to be more grateful for my meals. Making sure my laundry is all clean, so I have more options to choose from when getting ready for work. Giving myself an extra twenty minutes to do my hair matters, so that my confidence can be heightened for the day. Remembering to thank someone with a card, phone call or followup conversation has boosted the morale of the connections I make. All the little details, and things we usually brush off truly matter.
Check Your Ego: Grappling with my ego is the exhausting part of growth. Exhausting because it is never ending work. Exhausting because you have to dismiss your ego to address your ego. Exhausting because sometimes, my ego acts as my protector. Analyzing the fault I have in situations I am uncomfortable with, and then sourcing solutions that force me to do work IS EXHAUSTING. I’ve done a lot of healing in my lifetime - but not enough ego work. This summer has humbled me and I’m excited for who I become in separation from ego based decisions.
You Are Not Crazy, The Energy Is Off: In the past I would suppress my feelings in certain relationships and ignore obvious red flags. I would be open to people who didn’t have my best interest at heart, or only wanted to be close with me for personal gain. It’s confusing, because people can take emotional or spiritual advantage of you. They want you around to source abundance, energy and ideas from you - but have nothing to give back. I am cautious about new relationships and even some old ones. “Protect your energy” is a cliche meme quote but also very essential. At this point if the energy feels forced, strained or artificial - I have zero tolerance or involvement for it.
In the end it always comes back to balance. If you are seeking balance I would suggest taking your time. Take a break from your usual and try something different to obtain clarity. Set small goals that are achievable to enhance how you view yourself. Don’t always be so open to oversharing and over socializing. Make sure that the energy you have left over after handling responsibilities is used wisely. For two weeks try to only engage with people who make you feel good about yourself. Try to only wear things that make you feel attractive. Try to eat all the things you truly want and crave. Over time you will see how living life on your terms contributes to your mind, body and spirit.
All images shot by Harmony Jones.
