CHANGES

Life is moving at lightening speed and slipping right through my fingers. It feels like July was just yesterday. I think time has been passing so quickly because of my schedule. There’s been a lot of high priority tasks to handle that consume me week after week. Lately, I’ve intentionally taken time to slow down and say no. No to projects, no to phone calls, no to events, just no. What’s even more perplexing than a hectic schedule is how much I’ve changed in the midst of showing up for all of my obligations. It feels important to shift my approach now and address things as the self I have become and not the self I once was. I think it is interesting how we just change over time - but don’t always have the cognizance to call it out or even notice. As I’ve prioritized groundedness, I see how it reflects my daily life.

I feel fearful when I notice myself slipping back into the headspace of the past me. While I am proud of my change, it is work to be consistent. This has been the most drastic change I’ve seen in myself in a long time.

The new me listens deeply to my intuition. I listen to everything she says and I apply her guidance to my movement. The new me has a beautiful relationship with money and finances. The new me spends and invests with confidence that all of my money will circulate it’s way back to me and/or multiply. I have ascended from a scarcity mindset and understand the natural fluctuation of cash flow. I am more generous to myself than I’ve ever been - in every way. The new me is very firm and sure, whereas before I was an indecisive person.

Another thing that has shifted in me is listening closer to my body. Doing a lot of research on the body and its functions. I’ve taken detailed notes on each component of my ‘moon time’ and the way that I’m affected with each phase. I’ve gone really deep into the mind, body and spirit of self. In this type of inner work and the amount of awareness it brings - I’ve unfortunately become more sensitive to everything. I have bouts where I want to be alone and wish to not be perceived at all. I find it obtuse how growth is so sacred, but has to be done simultaneously with everyday responsibilities to ensure survival. Regardless of where you are mentally, you still have to go out and commit to your day. So we are all naked mirrors moving through the course of life.

What catapults me into these major changes is looking at life on a grand scale. Once I start to process how short life is, and how we really only have one - I realize how important it is to be free. Free to feel, free to love and free to experience life in its fullness. As a parent, I also contemplate how I want life to FEEL - like really feel each day. How much love and accountability and organization is necessary for my child to have a good life. What isn’t enough? What is too much?

A new thing that’s in the forefront of my mind is - love. Acting out of love, and responding out of love. I want to be someone who is seen as loving and kind. Even in situations that are ugly or unideal, I still want to be graceful and cemented in my energy. So when I have a trying day with my son, I want to respond to him in a loving, but constructive way. When I am frustrated driving home in traffic, I try to honk less and not become emotionally consumed by not having control of the way other cars are driving. When I’m teaching my students and they have unruly moments, I try to respond in a way that displays devotion instead of frustration. All people deserve love and to be love - you can’t pick and choose when to embody it. I think this type of mentality will enhance my life and mitigate things like stress and resentment.

These are the thoughts on my mind lately. Even with all this said, I know that at the same time - none of it matters and that everything is everything. There’s space for it all.

Above in the picture are these handmade reflection questions I made for my friend Ashley. Her and her husband just got married and I sent about 40 cards to them as a gift. I love making things like this and creating opportunities for people to contemplate. Love is so beautiful and just like our shifts in life - we have to make time and space for this sacred deliberation.