SINGLE LIFE = *INCUBATION* PERIOD

If I could have a meeting with women in today’s time, one thing I would address is how sanctified single existence is. I can’t grasp why being single is portrayed as such a dreary life characteristic in social constructs. A moment in your life where you get the opportunity to evolve in peace is a transformative time. Do you know how difficult it is to self revive when you’re considering someone else’s time, well-being and feelings? It’s a challenge to choose yourself consistently when you’re waking up to someone else in your bed everyday. When you are in a phase where your life is not connected to someone else - this is a sacred time that will pass like lightening when you’re in a relationship again!

I can see how someone who has never experienced love in adulthood could long for connection - but if you have felt the delights of commitment and affection - understand that there’s value in solitary living. This is the time to evaluate the events of your last relationship and study the ways you could improve as a human. Allow this time to be preparation for your next connection - which could be your best one yet. Imagine that your next partner is the last person you’ll ever date. Are you able to show up for them (graciously) today? Have you developed the proper belief systems? I worry that seasons have lost their virtue because we’re being forced to identical lives. We can’t all be in blissful love at the exact same time. Maybe the love of your life is in a relationship right now learning a lesson that they won’t have to learn with you.

Be Love

There is so much work to do as an individual that it is never ending. I believe that you attract love by being love. Love yourself so that when you do meet someone, you are an accurate reflection of the person you portray yourself as. Read and learn so that you can contribute to a conversation and keep your partner engaged. Work on your health and your wealth - get your finances and gut in order. Study your tone and the ways you interact with others. Are you the most considerate version of yourself? Figure out what you love to do so that when you meet the right person - they can do it with you. Do not wait until you find the love of your life to be whole. It is important to arrive to new relationships as the best version of yourself. Create the opportunity for the ultimate comfort by addressing all of your insecurities ahead of time. It is easier to work on your physical appearance, debt, and emotional intelligence when you’re single than it is when you’re in a relationship. Singleness invites an honesty and privacy that is essential to growth.

Get a “Lil Friend” or Two

Just because you’re single does not mean you can’t date. I think a big mistake that people make when they’re single is become TOO single and completely stop exercising their love muscles. There is no specific amount of time that you should be single, because everyone has unique situations. Be open to welcoming “friends” that you’re attracted to while preparing for the responsibility of a relationship. The purpose of these “friendships” is to keep you engaged and in the practice of human interest. Flirting, smiling, laughter and intimacy do not have to cease because you aren’t engaged or married. You can still enjoy loving experiences without being in love. As long as you are honest and compassionate in your movements, this should bring value to your life. Dating people keeps you sharp and close to the feelings aligned with romance. I don’t want this to be confused with situationships and low vibrational attachments - but more of a high value friendship that includes occasional quality time and a collective understanding.

Deserting yourself from the energy of the opposite sex will either over excite you to the point of fastening yourself to the wrong person (out of lack or desperation) or give you culture shock when a great candidate begins to pursue you. This stage is like receiving a single rose that an admirer picked as they were walking to your house versus a dozen roses from your dearest partner. This stage is a delicious lunch at a cafe with perfect natural lighting as opposed to a serious candlelit dinner. This is the quiz and not the test. This is the gentle rain - not the thunderstorm. The key to this is allowing it to be fun without projecting your ultimate goal on every person you meet of the opposite sex. You shouldn’t be spending so much time with this person that it feels wasted if you never graduate to something more serious. This person is a hug before an eternal embrace. Allow yourself to make friends with the opposite sex and enjoy the natural dance. Low toned romance gives you the opportunity to explore what qualities you need in the ideal companion.

Don’t let the fear of being alone forever sucker you into thinking you aren’t worthy of love. This is a difficult social romantic climate for adults as we are at the intersection of many new realities. We’re experiencing huge shifts combined with media influencing. We are digging up hundreds of years of trauma for the betterment of ourselves and our children. I cringe at this panic driven negative cluster of emotions being forced upon us. I deeply frown at the narrative being pushed about love and romance right now because it isn’t true. There are people out there just like you who are looking for something real and are not subscribing to the (men against women) war on socials. This is the time to stay focused and stick to the ideals of love that you know exist. Stick to how you felt about love before the world told you how to feel about it.

Chloe`