THOUGHTS ON 2021 (5 DAYS IN!)

So far this year has been pretty intense. I wanted to wait a few days before I settle on how I feel. I am both a combination of excited and somber. Growth seems almost impossible without some sort of pain or sacrifice. I am adjusting and getting aligned with who I want to become. I know that getting where I want to be will require discomfort. I am honestly burnt out on the “New Year’ theme. I’ve always been a fan of starting over and resets, but capitalism lowkey ruins it for me. It’s more than just another way to make profit. The New Year is hope and inspiration for a lot of people. Celebrating the new year and setting intentions at the same time as everyone else is powerful and the most exciting “holiday” to me. It’s not about gifts, moreso about looking within and focusing on yourself.

Right now, I am trying to enjoy every moment of life, and take it easy. My number one intention for 2021 is to calm down. To not feel that I need to make major decisions everyday. I want to allow myself to move freely within challenges knowing I’ll persevere. I want the freedom to enjoy moments of accomplishment - instead of wondering if I deserve it. The mind is a tricky thing, and I’m working on keeping mine in a steady place.

When I look back on 2020, I think about its comparison to 2019. The past two years have been ones of major growth and having to adapt rapidly to new realities. Although I accomplished a lot last year, I never really stopped to enjoy it. This year, I’m stopping to smell the roses. I want to say that I admire my drive and ability to multitask the way I do. As a mother, educator and creative I still find time to express myself - and encourage others to do so. That’s a big deal. Last year, I got a new car - new place - new job and wrote a zine that changed my life and others. I passed a major test that I was nervous about and completed my teaching program. I survived a pandemic! I worked with amazing brands, and creatives who share the same passion as me. I really showed up for myself in important ways.

At this time I want to allow my feelings to be all across the spectrum. It is okay to feel things that contrast in definition. All things flow together in some way. I will check back in the next few weeks in regards to the New Year. For now I will spend time enjoying the small simple things. I’ve been listening to SO MUCH Steve Lacy. He just released ‘The Lo-Fi’s’, which he says are samples and projects from high school. This really blew my mind - his music truly is timeless.

How are you feeling after the holidays ? What are your thoughts on the New Year and Resolutions.

'Life Update' feat. ARQ

Life right now is really interesting for me. The theme seems to be practicing what I preach. That’s the hard thing about being a writer - doing what you suggest to others. Once you know better, you have to do better. That’s where I am, and it is deep work.

Creatively things are flowing and I’m more committed than ever to complete projects. ‘Ode to 20s’ really birthed a part of myself that sees all the possibilities of life. Putting my work out there in a new way gave me the openness I needed to produce more. Seeing how much others believe in me, and use my words to make it through hard times is more than enough motivation.

Motherhood has been rough as the “mom guilt” gets realer as Phoenix gets older. The more he comes into his own understanding of things, the more responsibility I have to come through for him. He can voice his needs (and wants of course). He constantly needs to be kept busy and truly has a mind of his own. It’s a celebration everytime I hear him use a new phrase. Yesterday, he tried Jello for the first time and loved it. This mother work is just as rewarding as it is tiring. What saves me everytime is that loving him comes so natural. We spent all last year sleep training him, just for me to now prefer him in the bed with me at night. Finding ways to keep him entertained during a pandemic is hard. These days, running errands with me is as fun as it gets. I try to make life as exciting for him as I can. I wonder what he thinks of me as his mother and I can’t wait until the day he can tell me.

Something I’ve been prioritizing is my style ! In the last couple months, I’ve been treating myself to new pieces and accessories. I’ve come to realize how much looking good effects my mood. I’m learning how my style and energy intertwine. Along with refining my own style, I’ve also been splurging a bit on toddler clothes too. I feel much better when Phoenix and I are pulled together and on top of our self care/body positivity game.

Something new thats happened is we purchased a TV. I have been without a TV for over 5 years. I felt that it was unnecessary for so long. I sort of started to see tv as the ‘idiot box’. The way it used to keep me stuck for hours on end, seeing the same irrelevant information over and over. Since Phoenix is getting older and always watching his ipad, I decided to just get one and see how it goes. It’s nice to have, especially when I need to get things done. I love being able to work on my computer, but watch my Youtube videos on the tv. Watching some of my favorite vloggers on a bigger screen makes the experience richer ! At the moment, my favorite Youtubers are Gemary, Sophia Chang, Nash Grier and Jaelah Majette. I do watch a lot of Youtube, so my preferences change by the month and the mood.

The day these pictures were taken (last Sunday), Phoenix and I were just hanging out at home. Both of us are wearing lounge sets by ARQ. Everything we have on can be purchased on their website. I can honestly say, I won’t be lounging in anything else as long as ARQ exists. What have you guys been up to lately ?

BOUNDARIES AROUND "CHRISTMAS"

I’ve been in an uncertain place about holidays this year. Being aware of the true meaning of holidays at a time where I want to be aligned with my own culture is tricky. My three year old is understanding holidays and festive moments. I’ve been battling between keeping the joy, but acknowledging the defective history and capitalism connected to Pagan holidays. I went back and forth - debating on if I wanted to get a tree, and just how far into ‘celebrating’ I should go.

Honestly, I could do without the tree and the gifts, but I still want Phoenix to have some of the same memories I had as a child. I was raised Baptist Christian and began to lean more into spirituality in my early 20s. My mom no longer acknowledges Thanksgiving/Christmas, but when I was a child she decorated and prioritized a festive environment for my brother and I. We always had many gifts and Christmas was a major deal. I am trying to find a good medium for Phoenix.

Last weekend I decided to go ahead and get a tree. He is really excited about the tree when we light it up at night. I put some ornaments we’ve collected over the years onto the tree. Yesterday, he stood next to the tree and said “Ho Ho Ho”. I was shook because Christmas is already on his mind, he has been introduced to the theme from the shows he watches on his iPad. He’s exposed to the colors and the decor everytime we go to the store as well. I’ve come to realize that in some ways Christmas is inevitable, and we all get a taste of it in some way.

I must admit the tree does add a joy factor to our home. I went with a very small and minimal tree. I think I will get him a few gifts, but not go overboard. I don’t want him to get too hung up on “Santa” or presents because everyday truly is Christmas for my son. He gets everything he needs and most of what he wants all year. I want to remind myself that the holiday is what I make it and not to feel guilty for doing whatever I choose. This is the first tree we’ve had since he was born. This year has been fun because he understood it was his birthday when he turned three. He had a blast on Halloween with his costume, and he is already in the holiday spirit for “Christmas”.

I was talking to a close friend who was raised Jehovah’s witness. They said that their mother didn’t celebrate any holidays, but that the exposure was present with school and regular life. They said that they were interested and felt left out in school settings without being able to share the same experiences as other children. They encouraged me to do whatever I want to do. I think this was the moment I began to consider giving Phoenix some exposure to the holiday. My mom has suggested celebrating the seasons, instead of the specific holidays, which I think is a marvelous idea. I am also interested in studying more about black holidays such as Kwanzaa and incorporating those traditions in our household. I will most likely incorporate Kwanzaa by keeping an abundance of fruit on the dining table as well as in the kitchen. I’ll also get some Kwanzaa decor from the local Pan African store (support black businesses) and speak to the owner for historical direction.

There are so many decisions to make as a parent, right ? How do you feel about the holidays and how much should be exposed to your little one ?

ODE TO 20s LIVE DISCUSSION

This Sunday, I will hold the first live discussion of “Ode to 20s” on my Instagram platform (@discochlo). I am looking forward to this moment because I haven’t had the time to really sit down and share more thoughts about the project. In general, I am internet shy and something like this is out of my comfort zone but I want to connect with those who resonate with the zine.

I will dive into my favorite parts of the and share some of my responses. I look forward to hearing about what others think of the zine. I’ve gotten a lot of beautiful feedback and can’t wait for Sunday !

'ODE TO 20s' x DOING GODDESS WORK

I can’t believe the day is here for me to share my creation with the world. The feedback has been beautiful to see and hear.

I wrote ‘Ode to 20s’ at a transformative and unapologetic time. I felt the need to express a lot about what I wish I knew in the past and sharing my own wisdom. My twenties were challenging, and I wish I had someone to tell me certain things about various topics. I began to write down areas of my life I could’ve used solid perspectives on. These areas included :

• Men & Love

• Your Relationship w/ Your Mother

• On Friendship

• On Moving Away @ Least Once

• On Sexuality

• On Finances

• On Acquiring Knowledge and Creativity

• On Being a Goddess and Doing Goddess Work

• On Year 29 & Beyond

• On Mental Health

• On Being Black

• & last but not least On Confidence and Comparison

Once I got clear on my chapters - I wrote the entire rough draft in 2/3 days. Alongside my editor, Grace Davin and graphics designer Eric Eastland-Jones, we created “Ode to 20s”. At the time of building the zine, I was also interested in creating a tote to go with it as well. My favorite chapter in the zine talks about Goddess work and being a Goddess, and there the idea of the tote was born. I wanted something unique and groovy for other Goddesses to carry around.

I worked alongside a talented screen printer who allowed me to be hands on with the process. This project taught me so much about myself as a woman, mother and creative. Ode to 20s was created with the black woman in mind, but is perfect for any woman journeying this life. I want to thank you all again for your continued support of me as a writer.

Love always,

Chloe`

MOTHERHOOD UPDATE

Motherhood for me has been beautifully hectic. There’s always something for me to do. I would describe my parenting style as intentional, which is challenging when busy. Phoenix knows what he wants and how he wants it. Phoenix is fearless in his nature. He can be really sweet or wild, but whatever he chooses to be - HE’S A LOT OF IT. Age three is adventurous and ever-changing.
One thing he’s nailing is keeping his mask on, which I am impressed by. His dad said he was intrigued by a piano player they saw while out shopping. I am curious about what his interests will be when he’s a teenager. He loves people, interaction, and anything festive. We recently went to a small carnival and he loved every ride. I thought he would be apprehensive, but he wasn’t at all. His little personality is beaming through more and more each day.

To all the mothers with a toddler, I want to say HANG IN THERE. One day we will wish we had these moments back. Thats what I try to remember everyday.

Film capture by Jakian Parks.

OCTOBER ENERGY

Life is amazing at the moment. I have some beautiful projects launching soon. I’ve been working really hard on myself and my craft this year and I’m seeing the results. I see the results in my mind, my heart and body. I am very excited for the holidays and for a fresh season. Trusting myself more is the goal for October. Trusting that I can do the things I want, trusting my intuition and conscience.

Life becomes easier when you accept that you are not in control. Surrendering control has helped me manifest in a way that is organic and fluid. I have to remind myself everyday to let go, and let things play out. The more you interfere with destiny, the more disoriented everything becomes. Fear was the reason I needed so much control over everything.

My sense of self worth and confidence has heightened since I’ve prioritized myself more. August and September I really channeled my inner goddess by being specific about my needs. I challenged myself to meet all of my own needs, instead of sourcing that energy from anyone/anything else. This looked like a lot of rest, planning, tears, and real conversations. Getting a grip on procrastination really helped me “get on with it” and mark off some goals I had on my list.

I no longer dwell too long on things I can’t change. I am more free flowing and trusting of the universe. I am more open to stray away from a plan and this debilitating relationship I have with structure and perfection. I am allowing myself to live and be more present. I’ve been self caring so much in every way possible.

I’ve been missing my family and close friends. Last weekend, I went home to visit and that gave me a sense of grounding. In these pictures, Phoenix and I are wearing Shop Arq in our hotel room Sunday morning while visiting Houston. This loungewear is so worth the splurge! We officially have 3 months left of the year and 5 months until my 30th birthday. For the rest of this year, I just want to have fun and do all the things that make me happy. I want to listen to and care for my GUT. What are some personal goals you’ve set for October ?

10 MIN MEDITATION FOR YOUR SOLAR PLEXUS

Yesterday, I found myself anxious at work. I immediately searched for a short meditation. It dawned on me that I should seek a video led by a black instructor. I found this experience more comforting than any other online meditation experience in the past. There’s nothing wrong with sitting in silence, but guided meditations are helpful when lacking focus. Hearing a black voice gave me instant vulnerability and warmth.

I fell off of my meditation practice this summer. I pick it up now and again, which I think is okay. I wanted to share this with you guys, as meditation has always been a healthy coping mechanism for me. Also, here is a picture of me years ago in Third Ward Houston - when I was teaching yoga and meditation was life. I hope you are all transitioning into this new season well and feeling some peace after months of continued chaos.

AUGUST REFLECTIONS

Of all the summer months, I would say this month has been the most influential. May, June and July were all about thoughts, planning and staying hopeful. August has been about action and execution. Since the pandemic, I’ve been so desperate to make something of all this down time. I wanted to be a healthier, more wise and beautiful person when it was all said and done. I tried to pressurize this sort of glow up. This weight put a strain on me emotionally and physically. It wasn’t until August that I just let go and moved with the natural flow of life. August is when I created more realistic and relevant personal goals.

It takes time to be centered enough to hear your inner thoughts, and listen to what your body requires. August has looked like less time content creating, less time on social media - less time socializing period. I learned that in order to stay true to my needs, I had to cut out a lot of energy giving to external entities. Here are some desires I chose for myself this month :

• Stay on top of skincare - keep skin as clear as possible / do not procrastinate or get lazy with skincare routine

• Be mindful about every single thing I consume, asking myself “is this healthy for your body ?” Very minimal sugar and meat. Coffee as a treat.

• Prioritizing rest. Practice taking naps ( Detaching from guilt related to rest)

• Taking full and deep breaths throughout the day. This is regulation for my anxiety.

• Drinking a TON of water (also important to skincare routine)

• Practicing a lifestyle of zero judgement towards others for their decisions and fate

• Analyzing my ego, and inner child trauma - understanding why certain things trigger and offend me. Unpacking and writing about emotions DAILY

• Avoiding overload of racial and political information to make room for peaceful thoughts and concepts

• Starting things and finishing them - sharpening my commitment to big and small things

• Being present in all of my relationships, remembering birthdays, checking in on my loved ones and showing up how they need me to

• Supporting people in my community, and working on community based projects that bring me joy. Staying away from performative work.

• Sticking to boundaries I’ve set in respect of people I love - Saying no when I need to, Reminding others of boundaries I set without feeling guilty

I realized that the more I focus within, the more the “glow up” happens organically. The more I work on my character and beliefs - the more I can give to others and produce quality experiences for myself. It’s funny that I finally got the hang of this social distancing/quarantine thing and now it’ll end soon for me. In the next few days, Ill be teaching again. I still don’t know if I’ll be at home or online yet. Theres so much uncertainty connected to my life at the moment, but I’m just going with it.

Im still very excited for September. I’m excited for a new season. You guys know I love a fresh start ! Tell me about some of the goals you’ve set for yourself. How was your August ?

HEALTH IS WEALTH

The struggle for me is really real at the moment. Lately, I have been feeling extremely uninspired. Sitting still during this pandemic is so necessary, but so much of my creativity comes from my surroundings. My creativity stems from travel, the weather, conversations and experiences. All this time, telling myself it’ll “all be over eventually”, is what’s gotten me through. But now, I am starting to realize the end of this is still very far. Things are opening back up, but it is unrealistic to tell myself things will go back to normal. They won’t. Things will never be the same. Even if everything was open right now, I know it isn’t safe to go out unprotected -if at all. There is a NEW normal.

One thing I have been doing is making space for health. My health the past three months has been such a priority. At this point, I am really picky about everything I consume. I’ve been incorporating sea moss into my diet and checking in with my body often. I’ve been on top of my water and vitamin intake. I am also really on top of my self care - taking care of my skin, hair and nails. I have also been journaling a whole lot and reevaluating my needs. I was on such a roll a month ago but this week has been really hard. The ebb and flows of this pandemic/racial war, and the energy it brings is so unpredictable.

I also learned that work for me has been extended another three weeks. I was actually looking forward to a shift and structure. Getting that news was a little hard for me, but I think the overall lesson is patience. Im sure we all feel that we’ve been patient enough but have we ? Maybe the work is just beginning.

These pictures are from a few weeks ago when I went for a hike with a couple close friends. This was a good day. I think it’s really important to surround yourself with people who will get you out into nature and do activities that are beneficial to your soul. Nature is healing. I needed this workout, and I needed the company. In general, I miss humans and interaction.

Im ready for August to bring in a fresh perspective. I think my intentions for August will be to get back into my creative groove and be more open to new kinds of inspiration. I want to cook more delicious meals in August and meditate a little more to stay grounded. What are your August intentions ? How are you feeling lately ?

CHECKING IN WITH FRIENDS - ALL THE PRETTY BIRDS

Here are some featured images from my featured article on All The Pretty Birds. They have a “Checking In With Friends” series, created to stay in touch with each other and provide support. I enjoy this because there’s a sense of community, even online. Feel free to head over and check out the full article !

LATEST DIY + CONSCIOUS DECOR PROJECTS

Being home during quarantine and social distancing has me analyzing every inch of my apartment. Using my hands is what keeps me aligned. Having tangible results is my favorite form of success. I like to see and be reminded of my efforts visually. As much as I love to write, my creativity is also very tactile and crafty. I’ve been researching and thinking of ways to make my home a little more mature. I want to create new things that are unique - environmentally friendly and able to be reconstructed. My last three projects consisted of a painting inspired out of boredom and lack of real art tools, a big boy shelf for my son Phoenix and a chair reupholstery.

This painting was born from a package we received in the mail. I was really eager to paint and had no canvas or thick enough paper to create with. I cut the box up into pieces and painted a really simple design using tape to line the design. Once I was finished - I liked it so much I decided to frame it. The cardboard adds texture and stands out from my other paintings in the house. The painting lives above the couch for now. Sometimes creating wth limited resources can come out beautifully. Designs were freehand and spirit led.

Phoenix is turning three this week, and with quarantine - toys have taken over my home !! He has been out of school for a few months and has his favorite toys he uses throughout the day. Eager to maintain my aesthetic - I wanted to upgrade his play area and create a shelf that was his. I wanted the shelf to have some height to put his scatter toys up high and out of his reach. Scatter toys - are toys that are smaller and spread all over the floor for toddler decoration instead of actually being played with. I wanted to create something more age appropriate for him while still improving the overall look in this corner of the room. I thrifted this brand new Ikea shelf and painted it white. I customized the shelving so he could have a special spot for his beloved cars. So far its been amazing and has kept the house much tidier.

Troy and I stumbled upon a thrift store less than a mile from our home that is semi outdoor. The space is a huge garage type atmosphere. Its always empty - and its filled with the most random things like fabrics, furniture, toys, lamps and so many other things. Troy fell in love with a chair - but I despised the color. We ended up doing a reupholstery job on the chair and it came out amazing. We now use the chair in our room and the fabric was perfect for our decor. Chair reupholstery is hard and my first BIG diy project. I am really falling in love repurposing. We purchased the chair for $25 ! The fabric was $4 - the tools to work on the chair from Lowe’s was $25. My advice for chair reupholstery would be take pictures as you take the chair apart because thats how you’ll put it back together. Youtube helped a lot with this process as well.

What DIY projects have you been working on ? What kind of vibe does your space have ?

MOTHERHOOD IS SISTERHOOD

This past Sunday, Phoenix and I spent time with my good friend Ayaba, and her daughter Zula. We did ordinary things mamas do on Sundays - but just together. At this time, things are opening back up and then closing again because of COVID 19. We have been planning to get together for months- and decided this weekend we would just commit no matter what. Lately, I’ve been feeling some confusion about what my long term responsibilities are in my community. I have been feeling the desperate need to help - beyond donations and posting daily about black injustice. After this weekend, I realized my way of life is enough. Being a black mother and raising a well rounded and loving black son really is enough. Uplifting another black woman is enough. I am blessed to receive guidance from my experiences and bonds with other humans - specifically mothers.

Each time I spend a day with Ayaba, I gain clarity and confidence in my ideas and manifestations. We began our day with a picnic at a nearby park. This Sunday was quite overcast, and we even got rained on towards the end of our picnic. It was lovely. The kids were high energy and got along really well as always. Phoenix loves to be around other children, so I was happy he got the chance to socialize. Social distancing has been really hard on him. Phoenix and Zula laughed together in the backseat as we stopped at various places. At one point the kids both fell asleep and I stayed in the car while Ayaba went into a thrift store to browse. I encouraged her to take her time and really shop. We drove around the city with no real plan - just conversing and vibing over topics better discussed in person.

Watching her and Zula throughout the day was a direct mirror for me. Seeing another mother strapping in a carseat. Seeing a mother having to constantly put her needs second. Seeing a mother respond gently to a frustrated and sleepy toddler made me realize that I am not alone. All of the same struggles I have - other moms have the exact same ones. It seems less hopeless when you have someone to struggle WITH. Some would look at this as trauma bonding (haha), but I look at it as support and sisterhood. Having someone there to laugh through the hard moments and encourage one another that we are doing the right thing.

I remember when we were both pregnant. We were both so excited to be mothers and share the experience together. We talked about what kind of future we wanted for our children. We talked about how we still wanted to be “cool” and stylish even when we were mothers. Continuing to be creatives and reach personal goals has always been important to us. We have kept each other on track and in touch with our inner selves over the last three years and for that I am proud. We expressed our gratitude for each other, and the love we’ve shared overall. Being a mother is so hard ! We congratulated each other on making it this far. We talked about how our children have turned us into professionals and made us more focused as women. Its really full circle for us because we have become BOSSES over this three year span.

After shooting some content of the kids and a little grocery shopping - we had a really nice dinner together. We had some roasted vegetables with salmon and red wine. We lit candles and played music and talked about love, relationships, financial experiences and future endeavors. Fellowship and sharing meals is one of my favorite things to do with close friends and family. Theres so much intention behind choosing a meal, preparing it and enjoying it together. This moment reminded us to take care of ourselves. The dinner served as a treat for how much work we put in with two toddlers, masks, and Texas heat.

Ayaba and I are in the process of organizing a way to truly give back to black mothers. We want to channel our ancestors and community in a way that prevents black women from feeling alone or lost. In traditional African culture, women see all children as their own. No mother gets left behind. We care for each other and we care for each others seeds. This day was a beautiful representation of that. This is a bond that all mothers deserve.

RITUALS & MANIFESTATIONS

I’ve been contemplating my rituals. Spending time thinking about which ones I practice consciously and subconsciously. My rituals keep me connected to who I am and who I will be.  Ritual to me means - a way of life. Rituals are a set of personal practices you follow in order to manifest your dream world and reality. Rituals act as personal traditions in your routine. I feel that over time - my rituals channel my expectations for myself. Rituals can change at any time if they are no longer serving a purpose. Manifestation and ritual share a beautiful relationship that can assist you in getting everything you desire and more. I believe deeply in manifestation, because I have manifested a lot of things for myself in the last couple years. Manifestation and ritualization is real and can be done by anyone. 

My most simple ritual consists of making my bed. Something about making my bed cues the start of my day. It is the point in which I commit to productivity and making time useful. Bed  making is a small and quick commitment that gives me an emotional boost. It makes me feel that I’ve already accomplished one thing for the day. I am very sensitive to my surroundings and thrive in a neat and clean space. The bed making ritual is a visual massage as I walk in and out of my room throughout the day. Over time, this ritual will encourage me to be someone who keeps a clean and sacred space. I’ve also found that bed making is a good cure to procrastination - which I’ve suffered from in the past.

More complex rituals I practice that connect to manifestation are staying “positive”. In the past, I’ve been a worry wart. I’d worry about all sorts of things- mainly things out of my control. Big and important days were always stressful for me. I reached a point where I really wanted to outgrow the habit of worrying and being negative before negative things happen. I began to practice a specific meditation where I envision my day before I leave the house. I close my eyes and think about whatever errand/plans I have. Lets say, I'm hunting for an outfit or a specific thing at the store. As I meditate, I envision myself finding exactly what I’m looking for. I envision myself smiling and satisfied. I try my hardest to channel the emotion that will satisfy me most. I may also manifest eating something delicious while I’m out. I imagine myself driving and smiling - listening to music and feeling joy. Meditating over my day has shifted the way I feel about life. 

Meditating and using your imagination to create the ideal day in your brain allows you to have positive thoughts. This practice allows you to get what you want without actually having it yet. By the time you start your day, you feel that you’ve already won and you have faith that it may come true or turn out better. Aside from fatih, you also convince yourself that you actually deserve what you want. I think as imperfect humans - we hold ourselves back from true happiness, because deep down we aren't sure if we deserve it. Practicing this meditation teaches you that you do deserve it and that it is possible. Meditation as a thinker has always been tricky for me. I’ve found a way to meditate and use positive thought.

Through rituals, I’ve been able to manifest the job I have. I used to meditate and imagine myself teaching ALL THE TIME. I would meditate over the smallest details - and it all came true eventually. Other ways I manifest things is writing down what I want. I write every little detail I can think of. I truly believe that you are aiding the universe when you know exactly what you want. When you know exactly what you are looking for and you believe you deserve it - the universe will give to you when it can. 

What are some things you’ve manifested ? Is there something you want to manifest but aren't sure how ? What are some of your daily rituals ?

JOURNALING PROMPTS FOR BLACK HEALING

Everyday feels different navigating through this heavy space. Some days I wake up and I feel empowered, I feel happy about the shame attached to racism. I am overjoyed about the accountability we - as a people are pushing onto the world. I feel a liberation to say things I couldn’t always say before. Other days, I wake up angry. I wake up mad and worried at the thought of all this being a trend and something everyone will forget about. I can’t take on the responsibility of an entire revolution and neither can any of you - not alone. I want to offer some writing prompts and encourage you guys to write. You don’t have to be a professional or a published author to journal. In my darkest times - I’ve opened my notebook and let the words flow. By the end of my journaling - I feel well. I feel healed. Prompts can be helpful when you don’t know where to start. I hope these are helpful for my fellow journal keepers. Choose one or choose many - whatever you need at this time. I want to say that journaling is for everyone, even if now is your first time.

1. What does being a black person feel like? What are the good things about being black ?

2. What opportunities have you missed, because of your race ?

3. What are some similarities AND differences you think there are between a black man and black woman?

4. Have you communicated with or received messages from your ancestors ? What do your ancestors mean to you ?

5. What advice would you give to a black child who has dreams and aspirations ?

6. Who is the most influential black person you know and why ?

7. If money was not a factor - in what ways would you help and grow black communities ?

8. What do you think should be the focus right now for black families ?

9. What is your proudest moment in life - as a black person ?

10. What is something you've accomplished that others may be surprised about ?

11. What part of this racial war feels the heaviest to you ?

12. What are some things you’ve been doing to show yourself love at this time ? Why do these things bring you such peace ?

13. What is a realistic action that you can take (large or small) to serve the black community ?

Feel free to share answers in the comments or in your personal notebooks. Words are powerful and have a way of organizing our minds once we commit to the activity. Love and light to everyone.

Image shot by : Michele Iacobini

FOR MOTHERS WITH BLACK CHILDREN

WOW ! What a time to be alive !!! I am conflicted with feelings of sorrow and liberation. So much of the current events break my heart to see. At the same time, I’ve been given the opportunity to scream how I feel from the rooftops. I am someone who supports and embodies black lives matter - every single day that I wake up. Being a black mother, educator, writer and woman is a DAILY protest. I want to provide comfort and a safe space for black mothers who feel overwhelmed or alone at this time.

Before our children even get here - we are thinking of ways to protect them. Before their innocent souls arrive, they are already in danger. From the moment we step foot in hospitals -we are compromised. We experience prejudice in spaces where we are supposed to be safe. We are forced into unnecessary c-sections and given more drugs than necessary. Our children are plotted against in the educational system. One of my biggest reasons for becoming a teacher is because black children deserve educators who look like them. THIS IS ESSENTIAL. If you are a black mother right now and you feel helpless, please know that all you need to do to make a difference is pour love into your children. Thats it !

Let your children know how beautiful and powerful their skin is. Get down on the ground with them and play. Get to know their tiny little interests and add value to their existence. I don’t think its beneficial to speak on black matters without offering solutions and a way of change.

If and when I have more children, I will see a doula and midwife of color. Our children are so valuable and deserve the best treatment from the very start. Energetically our children deserve more. Soon I will share more information about doulas in major cities so we can create more of a community around this.

Updated list of Doulas/Midwives : Crimson Fig Midwifery, Sakina Midwifery, Doula Viva Births, SuperMamma Birth Services, Roots Community Birth Center, Positive Perinatal NYC, Houston based : Sankofamama

Right now, I am spending time nurturing my family extra. I am taking my time making meals and creating memories even in a racial war and pandemic. I want to remind black mothers to keep hope alive. I want to remind black mothers that growth requires pain. As a people we are growing.

Black motherhood community : Mater Mea

Relatable mom podcasts to listen to : @goodmomsbadchoices

Positive/inspiring writer and mama on IG: @alex_elle

Positive black media on fashion/health/beauty/lifestyle : @alltheprettybirds / alltheprettybirds

Black educator : @valencia_valencia

BLACK GIRL MAGIC, unapologetic IG accounts to follow : @marjon_carlos, @s_heyink , @spicy.mayo, @meccajw, @rachel.cargle

I want black mothers to take this time to ground themselves and process information. One feeling we don’t have to feel is confusion. Take this time to connect with other black women, and connect each other to positive and helpful resources. Take this time to try new recipes and figure out ways to refresh life at this time. This is OUR TIME. Feel free to share experiences, words of encouragement or some concerns you may have. I am here to listen.

MOTHERS DAY GETAWAY "LOOKBOOK"

One of my favorite parts about traveling is styling looks and garment packing. Travel allows the opportunity to wear clothes you may not wear on a day to day basis (especially during a global pandemic). Spring is here, and I love me some sundress season. For this trip, I really wanted to channel “relaxed and effortless mom”. I found this vintage dress at a thrift store over five years ago. Though I have a small wardrobe, this piece has survived multiple purges. The forest green gingham and keyhole are my favorite part, which gives a subtle sexy vibe. Our getaway was very low activity, so I just pranced around the Airbnb barefoot in this dress which seemed really fitting for a dreamy nature trip. I paired this dress with a pair of gifted Madewell earrings called “Flower Power Statement” earrings.

The second day of the trip fell on a Sunday (Mother’s Day). I was most excited about Phoenix wearing his “Love Your Mother” shirt from “The Bee & The Fox” ! I myself don’t wear many graphic tees, but it was perfect for my little tot. My linen dress was a lucky find from T.J. Maxx a few months ago by brand Monteau Los Angeles. You guys know I love an abstract acrylic nail but I’ve been doing at home manicures and went with a bold nail called “Lets Talk” by brand Sinful Colors. Lastly, the powder pink pajama set was a Mother’s Day gift from my own mama, purchased at Target. This set is absolutely gorgeous, sexy, and comfortable. I love a nice pajama set and the pandemic has shown us a whole new level of loungewear importance.

I’m not sure when I’ll travel again. But, packing for this quick mini trip was fun ! What are some of you guys’ go to getaway pieces ?

BUTTERFLY COTTAGE FOR MOTHERS DAY IN RED ROCK TX

Mothers Day is always a sweet day for me, but this one was unforgettable. In general, the best gift for me to receive is an experience. I love travel, near and far. I love road trips, trains, and planes. In my spare time, I hunt for beautiful spaces on Airbnb just in case I need a getaway. Phoenix’s dad decided to surprise me with a home I showed previous interest in, but was too cheap to book. He told me about the trip two days before we left and I am still on a high from this mini vacation. Phoenix and I do not get much time out of the house, so a home nestled in the woods was ideal for a reset during this unpredictable time. This Airbnb was only an hour away from the Yurt we stayed at last year. Texas really has some gems.

When we arrived to the private property, we met the owners who were so sweet. We followed them on their land to our quaint cottage and my heart fluttered as we approached. The images online do this place no justice. So much thought was put into the architecture of this home, and I was really grateful to stay here. My favorite part was obviously the shower, patio, and outdoor views. We packed meals that were already prepared at Whole Foods and just needed to be warmed up, because #mothersday means no cooking. We got plenty of snacks and drinks, and just vibed the entire weekend. I blew bubbles with Phoenix and he played in the dirt. We took plenty champagne naps and relaxing showers. If you need a girls trip with a small group, a family getaway or romantic reset - this is your place.

As promised, click here for the link to Butterfly Cottage. Let me know how your stay was ! if this is your first time using Airbnb - use our link here to book for a discount.

How was mothers day for you guys ?

'LORNA SIMPSON' + WHATS ON MY COFFEE TABLE ?

On our coffee table lives vintage EBONY magazines from year 79’ and 80’. We thrifted these a couple years ago at a vintage shop when my grandparents came to visit. The images on the inside are such a beautiful representation of black people. A similar way of style and dress has emerged again which is pretty nostalgic. These magazines radiate positivity and wealth - they are a reminder for me to stick to the plan. 

Lorna Simpson was introduced to me by a friend who thought I’d love her work - and I do. Lorna takes images from magazines just like the ones on my coffee table and transforms them into something that feels dated, but modern simultaneously. The way she represents black lifestyle is poetic and bold. The images she chooses to mix, merge beautifully together. After falling into a research hole, I found this video. Here’s a peek into Lornas’ vision and expertise. 

I love the showcasing of an older black creative showing us this confidence in the art world. I feel like my peers and I have too much doubt with our work. I aim to be as fierce and graceful as Lorna. As an art lover, I thought I’d share. I also included some of Lorna's work.I hope you enjoy it. Who are some artists you’re channeling right now ?

Lorna Simpson Website

Lorna Simpson Instagram

DIY TABLE & CONSCIOUS HOME DECOR

Decorating my home has kept me sane during this time of isolation. Finding creative and crafty ways to execute my vision has been fun and challenging. I am always trying to find financially responsible and earth supporting ways to bring life into my home. You do have to spend money on some things in order to achieve your dream look, but there are many ways to save if you have time to go the extra mile.

For my dining area, I really wanted to go for a mid-century modern vibe. In my dining room lives a dresser which is a family heirloom given to me by my granny. The dresser has been around for as long as I have, and its just really special and irreplaceable to me. Since I have dark wood floors, and the dresser is dark itself - I wanted to lighten the room up some. After searching for inspiration on Pinterest, I found exactly what I was looking for. I found a similar style table on Offer Up for $20. The table was. in pretty bad shape but I knew I could transform it with a little love. The materials in order to repurpose the table came out to be $30. I spent an entire Sunday sanding and painting which was really calming for me. I am more than pleased with it, and its just another sentimental piece in a room where I will be hosting my small family and friends. I wanted a table that made a statement - without being too big as my son needs as much space as possible to play with his trucks !

DIY PROJECT :

INITIAL VISION :

Aside from Pinterest, I really have been looking at the Home section of Urban Outfitters - especially for bedroom inspiration. In my bedroom - I only want to promote sleep and relaxation. I don’t intend to put much art in my bedroom or add any furniture materials that aren’t natural. In general, I am a very dreamy and celestial person - so I want my sleeping space to be reflective of that. I had my eye on a specific ceramic light to go next to my bed for weeks. I was very close to buying this $60 lamp a few times but could never follow through with it. I was at Big Lots browsing with my mom and found a very similar lamp for $17. I was so happy when I found it because it has the exact same concept and was also a nice heavy ceramic piece. That same day after leaving big lots, we saw the same lamp again at target for $20. It made me happy to get the best price for it. Imagine I had paid $60 , there are so many other things I can do with that money! These two lamps are not exactly the same, but I am very satisfied with the shape and quality of the lamp I did purchase. I wanted something dim and magical and thats exactly what I got !

Ill be showing you guys a lot of my little projects and findings along the way. Being intentional about creating a haven is really important to me, so I thought I’d share ! What home decor hacks do you have to share ?